I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
