I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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