every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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