No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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