glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
