You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
