I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize