YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
