Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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