i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
