if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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