let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
