Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize