Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
