I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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