Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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