Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
