love makes seman taste better
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
