carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
