I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
