I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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