I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You can't just leave with hair like that
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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