I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize