Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
