I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My ass is underappreciated
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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