i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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