I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
