Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The best revenge is premature balding
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
