Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize