You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
