I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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