Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
