I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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