there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
