Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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