Pappa wants mamma naked
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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