omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize