ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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