He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
