I think my vagina is haunted
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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