whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
