She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
