Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
