if you like me you must not know who I am
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
