nut hugger
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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