I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
