There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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