So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
pop tarts are not kleenex
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
