Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
When are your genitals available?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
