come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
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It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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