We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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