We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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