I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
