Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
