Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
