I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
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And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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