Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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