She is in my trunk
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
