can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
