oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize