the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
