used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
