okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
